‘Wouldn’t It Be Better If it All Just Blew Away?’ – Mike Wazowski

I’m a day behind. With everything going on in my life, I didn’t have one thought about my blog yesterday. I have so much in my personal life going on, such as buying a house, and my on going journey to conquer my depression. And what’s worse, today I really don’t feel like writing anything.

I have this horrible cycle I go through. Something will happen, something small. It could be a slight on social media or some asshole in traffic. I just get triggered. It just oozes into my daily life, and I feel completely useless.

I feel like my blog is useless. I feel like my novel is useless. I feel like everything I do is useless.

I’m not trying to be ‘Oh, woe is me.’ It’s how I really feel. So why the hell am I writing today if I don’t feel like it?

I have to push myself. I have to think that someone is reading this and getting something out of it. I have to think that my novel will be finished one day. I have to persevere through this.

Now, the nihilist in me feels like this is pointless. No matter what I do, it’s not really going to change anything. That if I died tomorrow, no one will be affected. We all die, and we are all forgotten about eventually.

It’s not the depression talking, it’s just my perspective. I feel like it’s realistic. People that work so hard to have this legacy after they die are foolish. Legacies don’t last. They never do. That’s just, you know, life.

This duality is hard to curb. Especially when you have a indifferent nihilistic perspective, then you have a depressive nihilistic perspective that sucks away your willpower.

I will never be a positive person. Never. Can’t do it. I feel like I’m not positive because I’ve been fucked over by life so much.

So the best I can do is just keep pushing through it.


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Video Game Collection Pt. 6

Donkey Kong Country is a classic SNES game. Most people have played it, and absolutely love it. With good reason; the platforming and controls are polished. The graphics were ahead of it’s time: using 3D character models that looked better than some games in the later game console generation. 

I have a weird tick about DKC. When I was a child, I owned only the first game. And everytime it was ‘Game Over’, I would scream. I have no idea why, but that ‘Game Over’ screen freaked me out. 

That image still makese anxious. Accomapnied with the somber, creepy music; it was fucking nightmare fuel for me.

I don’t know why it scared me so much, but in my experience, unconventional things freak me out. And this ‘Game Over’ screen was one of them. Another video game moment that scared me was in Tomb Raider 1 (PS1), where a statue comes to life. 

Scared the shit out of me.

I couldn’t play that game for weeks.


My favorite thing about DKC was the music. The music is excellent. It sets the right tone for each level. One of my favorite levels is Crystal Caves. 

I fell in love with this level because it’s just down right beautiful. The crystals would gleem in the background, making the world come alive. The level itself is nerve-wracking, and the music just makes it worse. But after you beat it, it’s so satisfying. 

I have played the other DKC games, and they are just as good, if not better. 

But the first one is a comfort game, and that is the one I will always go back to. 


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