Get Those Creative Juices Flowing.

Something that seems to be common with writers is an introverted lifestyle. That is putting the stereotype lightly. Like writer’s just lock themselves in a room and just stew in self pity and alcoholism. I feel like sometimes people associate writers with mental illness because writer’s tend to isolate themselves to focus on their writing.
Some writers do have a mental illness. Some famous writers have been open about or people assume they struggled with mental illness due to their lifestyle. Of course some have resorted to suicide. 
I think this is a double edge sword. In one way, people who write are creative. And people who tend to be introverted are more thoughtful in a creative aspect. Some of the best ideas I have had with my novel is just sitting with my notebook doing some free writing. I love being in a quiet, cool room to concentrate on my ideas. 

On the other hand, being isolated can promote depression. Then though I love being alone, I have to socialize. As humans, socializing is an important element. If we didn’t socialize, we would be feral. We wouldn’t know how to function if we met other humans. We probably wouldn’t live long because of the lack of human contact. When I’m alone for a long period of time, that depression sets in. 

It’s a complicated idea. When I tell people I’m writing a novel I can tell some, not all, have a weird expression after I tell them that. Like I have something seriously wrong with me. Others look at me like I’m a genius.

I assure you, I’m far from genius. 

I feel like we need to hold people who are introverted, not just writers, in getter regard. I dread being around people. It freaks me out. It’s not that I don’t like people, they just make me nervous. But after I get out and socialize, it’s not so bad. I freak out over saying the wrong thing, but that’s just how I’m wired. I hope one day people will see introverts without stigma. 

Not everyone can be a social butterfly.
-E. 

AMIIBOS! Video Game Collection Pt. 8 

Amiibos.

The best marketing scheme I have ever fallen for. 

When the Amiibo craze started, Dillon was obsessed. We bought every Amiibo you could get your hands on. We stood in line, camped on Amazon, woke up super early and went to Toys R’ Us….

We definitely have slowed down since then. We have sold a bunch of them, and against my moral values, we have opened up several. 

I hate and love Amiibos. I love having figures of some of my favorite characters, especially from the Zelda franchise. At the same time, it’s a collector’s nightmare. I have learned to have some control over what I buy. I do love how you can use Amiibos for certain perks in games. For example, I sit for, at least, 10 minutes and use my Amiibos in Zelda: Breath Of The Wild. You get all kinds of items, and Amiibo exclusive weapons and armor. 

What’s complete bullshit is when you have to have an Amiibo for certain game functions. The most recent being, if you want to unlock hard mode on Metroid 2 you have to buy the Amiibo pack which is 30 dollars.

30 fucking dollars.

Really Nintendo?

Regardless, I love these things. I hope we see more in the future with ample stock.
-E.

Escaping Reality

The past week has been tough. Absolutely rough. Life is just fucking me over right now. I’m trying to not be a negative Nancy, which is so hard for me to do.

Good news is that it was therapy week. One thing that stuck with me during this session was my inability to be in the moment. When discussing this idea with my therapist it seemed I didn’t know how to do that. I don’t actively stop and smell the flowers. I worry about the future; I never look at the present to reflect. Then she pointed how that I do, in a way, celebrate the present. I don’t worry about anything, I just enjoy the moment.

I do this through walking, writing, cleaning, etc. But what really stuck out was video games.

Lately, I have been playing Persona 5. For those who don’t know, it takes 100 hours to beat. Not to mention even longer if you want to be a completionist. On top of that, it’s a JRPG (Japanese role playing game). It’s a complex, story-driven game that is just amazing.

I hate JRPGS, but I love this game.

The role that this game has in my life is giving me a door to escape to. I can immerse myself into it, and just enjoy the moment. All this time I had been stopping to appreciate life. Just not consciously.

I have had so many people tell me I’m wasting time playing video games. That’s it’s childish. It makes me feel horrible, like I have to be productive all the time.

These days, I stop myself from thinking that way. The same people that tell me I waste my time sit in front of their television; mindlessly watching. The hypocrisy is there.

Escaping into a video game helps me cope. To forget, at the least, of the issues I deal with.

On top of that, I’m an adult. I don’t feel like it because I’m constantly treated like I’m not. I’m almost 26, and I still am told what I should and should not be doing.

Last time I checked, I have a full time job, able to pay all my bills, and have goals in my life.

If video games are a waste of time, so be it. But they have always and will continue to get me through the day.
-E.

Let’s Talk About That Zelda! – Video Game Collection Pt. 7

If I had to play one video game for the rest of my life it would be Zelda; especially Link To The Past. But that’s a tale for another day. I’m here to talk about Twilight Princess.

Now, I have so much Zelda shit, it’s stupid. I know there are many people who have ten times more than me, there are people who collect EVERYTHING Zelda. I focus more on the games. Getting complete copies of each game and having multiple formats of the same game. 

I have 4 copies of TP.

Tip of the iceberg.

ANYWAY.

Twilight Princess is my second favorite Zelda game. 

I know that’s blasphemy. Just like Majora’s Mask is my least favorite (I’ll take Zelda II ANY DAY over MM). 

Twilight Princess also holds a very special place in my heart in more than one way.

I was one of those people that freaked out over how gorgeous TP looked. I cried. Just a little. 

Zelda was the one game my parents would buy me. Mind you, I had been playing Zelda since I was two, and they saw how much I loved it. So, it seemed almost like a ritual when a new Zelda game came out, I ended up with a system to play it on. My parents bought a SNES to play LttP. My parents bought a N64 for OoT. My parents bought me a Wii for TP. Those were some of the best memories of my adolescence. 

So there’s that.

It holds another special place in my heart because that’s how I met my partner-in-time, Dillon. I also thought it was appropriate to discuss this game because it’s been ten years since I met Dillon

TEN YEARS.

I can’t believe we were 15 ten years ago. It just blows my mind. 

So, we met at the lunch table in highschool. I recently moved back to the area, and was slowly making friends. When I met Dillon he was describing how he couldn’t get to the higher levels of the Lakebed Temple. He can’t hitting the table with the palm of his hand, and then pointing saying ‘how do I get up there?!’ 

Everyone was laughing at him. 

I thought he looked damn stupid.

So, the first thing I say to him is ‘It a pretty easy dungeon. You can’t handle it?’ or something to that effect.

 Bottom line: I made fun of him. 

It was a horrible thing to do, especially with me being the new kid, and I totally didn’t know him. But he took it in stride.

Now, mind you, this blossomed into a great friendship. Nothing more for the longest time. This isn’t some ‘love at first sight’ shit. We had periods of hating one another. It was quite a turbulent relationship.

But when we talk about TP, it’s always with fondness and inside jokes.

Now, the game itself, is spectacular. I was in awe of how big Hyrule Field was, and how alive Castle Town was. I loved how you could turn into a wolf for certain objectives. I loved how gorgeous the world looked. It was everything a Zelda game should be and more.

Alot of people don’t like it it seems. Whether it be the long burn off a beginning, or just the overall gloom that hangs over the game. 

If you haven’t played it, you need to check it out especially if you are a Zelda fan. The controls are tight on very port, and the story may start slow, but it becomes quite gripping.

Happy 10 years Dill!

E. 

‘Wouldn’t It Be Better If it All Just Blew Away?’ – Mike Wazowski

I’m a day behind. With everything going on in my life, I didn’t have one thought about my blog yesterday. I have so much in my personal life going on, such as buying a house, and my on going journey to conquer my depression. And what’s worse, today I really don’t feel like writing anything.

I have this horrible cycle I go through. Something will happen, something small. It could be a slight on social media or some asshole in traffic. I just get triggered. It just oozes into my daily life, and I feel completely useless.

I feel like my blog is useless. I feel like my novel is useless. I feel like everything I do is useless.

I’m not trying to be ‘Oh, woe is me.’ It’s how I really feel. So why the hell am I writing today if I don’t feel like it?

I have to push myself. I have to think that someone is reading this and getting something out of it. I have to think that my novel will be finished one day. I have to persevere through this.

Now, the nihilist in me feels like this is pointless. No matter what I do, it’s not really going to change anything. That if I died tomorrow, no one will be affected. We all die, and we are all forgotten about eventually.

It’s not the depression talking, it’s just my perspective. I feel like it’s realistic. People that work so hard to have this legacy after they die are foolish. Legacies don’t last. They never do. That’s just, you know, life.

This duality is hard to curb. Especially when you have a indifferent nihilistic perspective, then you have a depressive nihilistic perspective that sucks away your willpower.

I will never be a positive person. Never. Can’t do it. I feel like I’m not positive because I’ve been fucked over by life so much.

So the best I can do is just keep pushing through it.

E.

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Video Game Collection Pt. 6

Donkey Kong Country is a classic SNES game. Most people have played it, and absolutely love it. With good reason; the platforming and controls are polished. The graphics were ahead of it’s time: using 3D character models that looked better than some games in the later game console generation. 

I have a weird tick about DKC. When I was a child, I owned only the first game. And everytime it was ‘Game Over’, I would scream. I have no idea why, but that ‘Game Over’ screen freaked me out. 

That image still makese anxious. Accomapnied with the somber, creepy music; it was fucking nightmare fuel for me.

I don’t know why it scared me so much, but in my experience, unconventional things freak me out. And this ‘Game Over’ screen was one of them. Another video game moment that scared me was in Tomb Raider 1 (PS1), where a statue comes to life. 

Scared the shit out of me.

I couldn’t play that game for weeks.

Anyway,

My favorite thing about DKC was the music. The music is excellent. It sets the right tone for each level. One of my favorite levels is Crystal Caves. 

I fell in love with this level because it’s just down right beautiful. The crystals would gleem in the background, making the world come alive. The level itself is nerve-wracking, and the music just makes it worse. But after you beat it, it’s so satisfying. 

I have played the other DKC games, and they are just as good, if not better. 

But the first one is a comfort game, and that is the one I will always go back to. 

E.

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@earthhboundgirl

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