Why Do I Bother?

I get so discouraged when no one reads my blog. This is one of the triggers that puts me in a depressive mood.
I get it. The internet is saturated with blogs, streamers, YouTubers, etc. But when your own Facebook friends won’t even bother, it’s disheartening. 

It makes me question my character: ‘What the hell is wrong with me?’ Or ‘I just have shit content’.

I mean, this is mostly me complaining or just putting my feelings on my sleeve, right?

I always say I want my blog to touch people. I am brutally honest because that’s what we need when it comes to mental health. We need to be open about these feelings of sorrow, or these thoughts of death.

But is my voice doing that? Or is it getting lost? Or should I bother?



Rule Of Rose Video Game Collection Pt. 9 

If you have never heard of this game, don’t need surprised. The reason why is because there were only 150,000 copies sold in the United States before they decided to pull it off the shelves. The reason being due to the sexual and physical abuse happening to children. Now, mind you, the game never shows sexual abuse. And the physical abuse is bullying by a group of children. However, the game has heavy symbolism referring to these subjects.

This was introduced to me via a friend. Calling this game weird is an understatement. It is a psychological horror game where you control Jennifer. Jennifer arrives at a boarding school, and is faced with a group of girls called the Red Crayon Aristocrats Club. They torture Jennifer by burying her alive, putting her in a bag and dropping bugs in it, etc.

I’m definitely intrigued when it comes to horror games. I love the genre, and this is the most interesting horror game I have ever played.

It’s fucked up. I mean, really. It deals with the most taboo subjects in our society, and shows it in a subtle way. In no way does it glorify it. Honestly, I think it’s trying to show the player what child victims go through.

One character comes to mind in the game. The Mermaid Princess.

See what I mean?

But these are the kind of symbolism you see in the game. Suicide, abuse, helplessness. I feel if you have been through a tramuatic experience in your life, don’t play this game.

However, my experience playing it, I have enjoyed it. The combat is god awful, but the story is so compelling. It’s a convincing story of hurt, and how individuals perceive it and cope with it.

If any, just watch the cut scenes from the game on YouTube.

It will probably give you a chill.

Get Those Creative Juices Flowing.

Something that seems to be common with writers is an introverted lifestyle. That is putting the stereotype lightly. Like writer’s just lock themselves in a room and just stew in self pity and alcoholism. I feel like sometimes people associate writers with mental illness because writer’s tend to isolate themselves to focus on their writing.
Some writers do have a mental illness. Some famous writers have been open about or people assume they struggled with mental illness due to their lifestyle. Of course some have resorted to suicide. 
I think this is a double edge sword. In one way, people who write are creative. And people who tend to be introverted are more thoughtful in a creative aspect. Some of the best ideas I have had with my novel is just sitting with my notebook doing some free writing. I love being in a quiet, cool room to concentrate on my ideas. 

On the other hand, being isolated can promote depression. Then though I love being alone, I have to socialize. As humans, socializing is an important element. If we didn’t socialize, we would be feral. We wouldn’t know how to function if we met other humans. We probably wouldn’t live long because of the lack of human contact. When I’m alone for a long period of time, that depression sets in. 

It’s a complicated idea. When I tell people I’m writing a novel I can tell some, not all, have a weird expression after I tell them that. Like I have something seriously wrong with me. Others look at me like I’m a genius.

I assure you, I’m far from genius. 

I feel like we need to hold people who are introverted, not just writers, in getter regard. I dread being around people. It freaks me out. It’s not that I don’t like people, they just make me nervous. But after I get out and socialize, it’s not so bad. I freak out over saying the wrong thing, but that’s just how I’m wired. I hope one day people will see introverts without stigma. 

Not everyone can be a social butterfly.

AMIIBOS! Video Game Collection Pt. 8 


The best marketing scheme I have ever fallen for. 

When the Amiibo craze started, Dillon was obsessed. We bought every Amiibo you could get your hands on. We stood in line, camped on Amazon, woke up super early and went to Toys R’ Us….

We definitely have slowed down since then. We have sold a bunch of them, and against my moral values, we have opened up several. 

I hate and love Amiibos. I love having figures of some of my favorite characters, especially from the Zelda franchise. At the same time, it’s a collector’s nightmare. I have learned to have some control over what I buy. I do love how you can use Amiibos for certain perks in games. For example, I sit for, at least, 10 minutes and use my Amiibos in Zelda: Breath Of The Wild. You get all kinds of items, and Amiibo exclusive weapons and armor. 

What’s complete bullshit is when you have to have an Amiibo for certain game functions. The most recent being, if you want to unlock hard mode on Metroid 2 you have to buy the Amiibo pack which is 30 dollars.

30 fucking dollars.

Really Nintendo?

Regardless, I love these things. I hope we see more in the future with ample stock.